Avian Affiliate Gifts

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Do me next."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

Caliologist

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

'You reek of crackers.'

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

The doctor says if it doesn't come out soon, she'll have to induce.

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

'Pretend you don't notice him.'

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'