Avian Ally Gifts

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'It's a symbiotic relationship. That lineman can crush quarterbacks with his bare hands...'

OIl spill.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

A Symphony of Penguins

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

So you're a mocking bird...

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Bird Torture.

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'I think he's lonely.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

'The workday comes to an end at the Audubon Society.'

Birds doing the 'wave'.

Labrador for sale

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

Doulton Canada Geese

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"