Alien Ally Gifts

"After the putt."

'We believe it was at THIS point that the species became extinct.'

Frisbee dog

"The vegans are going to be unbearable after this!"

"Don't worry about making mistakes!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Labrador for sale

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

fish in a bottle...

"Please turn to page 38 in your hymn-or-her books." The feminist cause marches on.

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

Dog hides eyes as car turns into vet clinic.

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"

'It's a symbiotic relationship. That lineman can crush quarterbacks with his bare hands...'

'I don't think my parents are ready for me to come out of the closet just yet.'

"My Dear Lady, what a perfectly charming idea! I wonder which of us gentlemen put it into your attractive little head."

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

The Gulf Coast Oil Spill is the Grime of the Century.

'Jeckers, when I was a student we commonly at poultry...

"So, Gracie, if you were a superhero, what powers would you have?"

"What's the matter? Not puffy enough for you?"