Automotive Technology Gifts

'Six gallons of ethanol, three of it corn, two of it sugar cane and the rest cellulosic biomass.'

"The great thing about selling these babies is that if the buyer misses a payment the car drives itself back to our dealership!"

"It's got an incredible range for an E.V."

Peak Oil and its effect on car design.

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Bob's Driving School.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"Perfect."

Computer Controlled Car

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

General Motors.

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."