Automotive Gifts

'Safety zone ends, resume driving like idiots.'

"Gracie, just because you understand internal combustion engines...doesn't mean you can drive."

'We've found the problem...'

Although they knew it had no practical applications, they couldn't help but be jealous of Jeb's shiny new 19-wheeler.

"I agree, it's a lot of bang for the buck. And thumping, whining, clicking, clacking, clanging, grinding, buzzing and rattling."

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

"Perfect."

Traffic calming ahead. Prepare to be Mindful.

"Your engine was running amok. We had to call in the authorities."

Perry became painfully aware of just how dangerous bald tires can be.

'You always lift me up when I'm down.'

"I recommend the Safety-M2000. It's just loud enough to warn people you're coming."

'Does BRIGGS AND STRATTON make a heart monitor? Their small engines are very reliable.'

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

'Take her out for a spin, Guaranteed to blow your mind, Or at least your hair,'

"Clear!"

'It's a hybrid.'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Snow Tire Sale: We Skid You Not

Fast driver

'Did you say 39 or 93?'

'The one on the left is a twenty minute oil leak. The other one is an all day oil leak.'

Gynaecologist standing under a patient (like a mechanic).

Car Mechanic Funerals.

"It's even more controversial than uber. It's a driverless taxi."

"It's our new electric car. We call it the 'Volts Wagon'."

"No officer, I'm not concerned that my signal lights don't seem to be working. I never use the damned things."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'He was a darn fine mechanic.'

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

'Yes, I did give it an oil change myself. I changed to a healthy low calorie oil with no transfats.'

'I can dream, can't I?'

'She does about a hour on a full wind up.'

Mechanic: 'A grinding sound, eh? Maybe she needs a new paint job.'