Automobiles Gifts

"We can't come to an agreement about how to fix your car, Mr. Simons. Sometimes that's the way things happen in a democracy."

Well, the car's computer say it's YOU who won't start, runs rough, and back fires on acceleration.

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

'I collided with this stationary truck coming the other way!'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Out Of My Way, Stupid!

'Well, for starters, I think it's about time for an alignment job.'

"Naturally, there's a trade-off for its exceptional fuel economy."

'You won't hear that funny noise anymore. I turned up the volume on your radio and pulled off the knob.'

Mom and Dad Really Lose It - 1/4 Mile.

"I hope you realise this is going to raise our auto insurance premium!"

'Let's get one thing straight. I don't want your money, I want your respect.'

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

'Well, I think I know why you've been having trouble starting her.'

A man gets through the pearly gates with an E-Z Pass.

'I'll even throw in 30 days free towing.'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"Ownership gives one a real sense of accomplishment. Or skip the whole accomplishment thingy and just lease."

'Due to the price of fuel, the company I work for has gone to a smaller, more cost-efficient truck.'

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

"Rising fuel costs have forced us to make major design changes. Like the in-dash ATM, in case you run out of gas money."

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'Ah, there's the problem. I was swearing at the right part, but using the wrong words.'

NOT 2B

"It's got 160 horsepower. That's nearly 260 reindeer."

"Excellent company car. Especially if you work from home."

Turmoil change.

Road that goes off a cliff with a sign stating "We regret the error".

Wind power for cars.

'Mr. Smith, cars used to have steering wheels, right?'

'We spend billions annually on styling changes and preposterous advertising, and you've got nerve to care only about fuel economy and reliability?!'

Dammit merge.

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.