Australia Vs. England Fan Gifts

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

'...I don't like your chances!'

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Birds doing the 'wave'.

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

'Last quarter, Jeremy, you dropped two passes. Could you tell our viewers how you plant to catch this pass?'

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

"You were right, girl. No one has autumn leaves like Vermont!"

England footballers 'Playing Away'

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

'Cup match or not, Sir, you'll just have to cancel this afternoon's game . . .'

"Of course the English wouldn't be doing so well if they weren't winning."

"You've pulled your hamstring..."

Marcus Smith

Ned Kelly's (an Australian outlaw) continual problem.

'Just 3 problems with the England team - they can't bat, can't bowl and can't field!'

'The selectors must be meeting...'

England rugby squad hit losing streak: 'A bit like the one they hit from the early 80's to the late 90's.'

'It's always the same...Terry and Mike have a few drinks and then they start to kick off.'