Ash Wednesday Gifts

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'I think today is Ash Wednesday literary.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

'The only New Year's resolution he's still got intact is not to watch the England cricket team in Australia on television.'

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

England And The Ashes

(The Drinking Buddy System)

"We don't have a battle cry to get the employees revved up, but it's amazing how productive people can be when you get them doughnuts every Wednesday."

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

Darts team ordering their drinks using notes attached to darts.

'He's okay otherwise, but I get sick and tired of hearing about his lifetime batting average of .325.'

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

My new trash pickup day is midweek, on Wednesday. Hump-day dump-day!

"Sorry, I have a strict cash only policy."

To celebrate the middle of the week, employees at Gortney Industries built an actual hump.

Volcano and plane

"One day past humpday, one to go until slumpday."

"Happy Hump Day!"

The winner takes it all?

"Anyone In from Chernobyl?"

'Bleedin' volcanic ash!'

"Mike, Mike, Mike! Guess what day it is!!!"

'Me keep thinking it Wednesday.'

Sit Down Comedy Night: 'Did you hear the one about...?'

'I hate hump day!'

'If you ask me, they're getting WAY too into the spirit of Wednesday being Hump Day.'