Ashes Enthusiast Gifts

'You've got some cheek. Your middle order collapsed years ago.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

Shoe addict.

New Shoes.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

Mister Pretty Shoes

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"So what if people do laugh? The world can use a little more laughter, can't it?"

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

"Do you do much walking?"

'...I don't like your chances!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

Drunk Barber

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat!'

'You stay here. I'll go on a head.'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"