Ash Enthusiasts Gifts

'Bleedin' volcanic ash!'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

'...I don't like your chances!'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

'The only New Year's resolution he's still got intact is not to watch the England cricket team in Australia on television.'

How Gary got his groove back.

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."

Pumping up wig in blender.

Noah's lesser known brother.

"Do you think that our government is taking sufficient measures against global warming?"

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Ark under giant brolly.

"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."

Climate Change Contingency House

'Your father spent so much time building the ark he didn't have time to study navigation.'

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'