Ash Artist Gifts

'I guess you'd call it a queer request. He wants his ashes put in a fruit jar and hidden in the closet.'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

Is that pancake ready yet?

'...I don't like your chances!'

Music producers.

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

Deforestation in Romania

'The only New Year's resolution he's still got intact is not to watch the England cricket team in Australia on television.'

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

Rabbit pulled from top hat carries 'Stop animal cruelty' banner

Recording Studio

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

England And The Ashes

"The end of my wife's rope is near"

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

'You're probably just trying to get our attention, son, and believe me, you've succeeded in a big,big way.'

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."

Exploding Rock to make the perfect Sculpture.

"Sign of the times, eh?"

Computer From Hell

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

'Well, Carrie, it's great that you were able to express some of those repressed emotions!'

Volcano and plane

'Listen; They're playing our song!'

"Look! It came pre-defaced by the artist."

A punk rocks out to a John Denver song on karaoke night.

Boy finds a real foot in his Christmas stocking.

Multi skilling costs jobs.

Two protesters; one is holding a sign that reads "No War" while the other is holding a sign that reads "Some war".