Army Major Gifts

Servicemen.

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

'At ease, soldier.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'...and this is the Mess.'

A Rifle Competition in the North

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

"Hon, where's the butter?"

At a Country House

'If your business wants political stability, you've come to the right place.'

Kosovo.

Used to it.