Army Gifts

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

'No, Corporal Shirley - You don't get a Purple Heart for a broken fingernail!'

"What's the biggest problem women have to overcome to fight in the front line?"

'No need to stand to attention, Sergeant!' - Philippa Tattersall, first female Green Beret.

Two military officers

"Rustle when I call your name and I'll bring your diploma to you."

Servicemen.

'Dad, I want to drive an army tank when I'm older.'

'Dunno who he is, but he's got some influence here...'

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

General Dentistry.

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

"It's blank because we haven't found a new war yet."

Two Men In A Tank.

Think hard soldier! When I threw the practice grenade, did you hear me say 'fetch'?

"We've decided not to discharge you. You've been assigned to work in an army surplus store."

The March to Finchley.

Support the Ex-Troops

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Military Medals

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Monuments