Army Personnel Gifts

Gen. Anesthesia.

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

Military man has pigeons lined up in front of him.

The Generals medals

'You put your right foot in . . . '

"Phew! Thank goodness Royal Mail are on strike. I was due to be posted to Afghanistan today."

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

Civil Defence

"No, they're not regulation, but as soldiers we feel these helmets are a lot more useful."

"I joined because I like sand."

Camelflage.

'At last! Some decent kit.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

Army Stops for A Duck and Her Ducklings.

'I heard them say, 'fire at Will', I'm pleased I'm not him!'

'Do you hear music'

Tank parks on the yellow lines.

'Due to more government cuts, they were asked to supply their own uniforms.'

Soldier looking in the mirror and seeing a general.

"I'm your camouflage instructor."

Sole surviving member of army unit dies.

"Because of the budget cuts the territorials are having to take on more responsibility, Graham has got the nuclear attack codes."

Shadows showing soldiers from different walks of life.

Toy Soldiers - 'They're in civilian clothing.'

'Let's get some camouflage on that face, soldier.'

US soldier reading a sign for 'Hookahs' in Iraq.

101 uses of a dead cat: machine gun.

Happy Labour Day: While you enjoy that last long weekend of summer, remember...there are some folks who aren't taking the weekend off.

Drill or no drill

'Not the coal, Corporal. The men!' (Ethnic policy / white wash).

General gets a jackpot of medals at the casino slot machine.

'A word of advice, Kowalski. Avoid using the term 'cannon-fodder.'

Soldier watering his camouflage.

I was going to take a job as a model for camouflage clothing, but I just couldn't see myself doing it.