Military Staff Gifts

"These new ultra high-spec, night vision glasses are rubbish!" "You need to remove The lens cap."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Neo-International Law

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Servicemen.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"Postwar is hell."

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Military Medals

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'These are job perks.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'