Army Mechanic Gifts

"My neck hurts."

Servicemen.

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'General, Sir, it's those damn engineers.'

Panzer Hut.

Global Arms Trade

'Dad, I want to drive an army tank when I'm older.'

'The General won't be able to make it ,sir -he can't get a babysitter.'

"He's a lobbyist for the defense industry."

General GI Joe: 'It's about time you were promoted, Joe!'

The March to Finchley.

"It's blank because we haven't found a new war yet."

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

'I thought this thing had been tried and tested.' 'It has... Didn't work that time either.'

"You all know General Petersen from I.T."

Acme Rubber Band Co.

New tank model with safety features: 'Sorry, sir, firing the cannon set off the airbag.'

"Rustle when I call your name and I'll bring your diploma to you."

'Number one platoon will be on patrol. . . number three will be playing peek-a-boo.'

Two Men In A Tank.

Think hard soldier! When I threw the practice grenade, did you hear me say 'fetch'?

'Sorry son, you can't join: You're flat-footed...'

US Airforce.

"Do the M.O.D allow many of their staff to work from home?"

The Next Generation of Smart Weapons; Think Tank.