Army Trainer Gifts

Military Intelligence

'How can you make so many mistakes when there's only 2 option...LEFT or RIGHT?'

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Moving Target

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Hanging off every word...

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Cat Show

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Quality Control

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Just go with the workflow."

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."