Army Training Gifts

'I don't care how many seconds it took! I need to dry my hair now!'

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

Humpty Dumpty on assault course

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Servicemen.

'Bert's dog training.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Agility God

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Street Organ - Monkey

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"The kid's good."

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

"Service."

A Rifle Competition in the North

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'