Army Training T-Shirts

'I don't care how many seconds it took! I need to dry my hair now!'

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

Humpty Dumpty on assault course

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

'Bert's dog training.'

Servicemen.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Agility God

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Street Organ - Monkey

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

"The kid's good."

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"Service."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

A Rifle Competition in the North

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'