Military Trainers Gifts

Teen Army

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"Yes, sir, fat free—straight from the gym."

A Rifle Competition in the North

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

A hunchback rings bells in a gym while other guys pull weights

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Killer whale with dead trainer

"I know a lot of classmates will say, 'Oh no, not another essay about mailmen.'"

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

"You taught Rover to beg?...well that's wonderful dear"

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

'Blue Fox to Swat Team: execute on my count of three and when officer O'Rourke has fastened his bootlace.'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

The Hunchback of Notre Dame practices ringing the bell.

Obedience School Spelling Bee

'Are you sure this is only the 100kg?'

"Putting a trampoline in the breakroom to inspire fitness wasn't one of my best ideas."

4 Things Yogis Worry About

"Let's face it, we've got too many 'Sugar Ray's'."

"You're on next. Break a leg!"

I bring this small gift (though it may be poor) as a gesture of apology for soiling the floor.

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

"Well sports medicine isn't my speciality.. but at a guess I think you need to work more on your legs."

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

"Feel free to use it. It's an emergency escape hatch if you say something controversial."

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'