Military Trainers Gifts

Teen Army

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

"Yes, sir, fat free—straight from the gym."

A Rifle Competition in the North

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

A hunchback rings bells in a gym while other guys pull weights

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"I know a lot of classmates will say, 'Oh no, not another essay about mailmen.'"

Killer whale with dead trainer

"You taught Rover to beg?...well that's wonderful dear"

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

'Blue Fox to Swat Team: execute on my count of three and when officer O'Rourke has fastened his bootlace.'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

The Hunchback of Notre Dame practices ringing the bell.

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

'Are you sure this is only the 100kg?'

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

"You're on next. Break a leg!"

"Let's face it, we've got too many 'Sugar Ray's'."

I bring this small gift (though it may be poor) as a gesture of apology for soiling the floor.

4 Things Yogis Worry About

"Putting a trampoline in the breakroom to inspire fitness wasn't one of my best ideas."

Obedience School Spelling Bee

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

"Well sports medicine isn't my speciality.. but at a guess I think you need to work more on your legs."

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

"Feel free to use it. It's an emergency escape hatch if you say something controversial."