Military Technician Gifts

"My neck hurts."

New tank model with safety features: 'Sorry, sir, firing the cannon set off the airbag.'

'Well, well, well...'

Servicemen.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

Cat Scan

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

"I'm gonna want that taxidermied."

I Want to be a Drone President

US fears missile competition.

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Oh, I don't do the test myself Sir: Doctor Vampire does it..."

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

An Arm and a Leg.

Used to it.

'If your business wants political stability, you've come to the right place.'

Kosovo.

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

'What do you mean it doesn't work? It's not rocket science!'

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'