Armchair Fan Gifts

'Can you get a move on with my dinner? The football will be on in ten minutes.'

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

DIY marriage counseling.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

Eggs portrayed in different art media.

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'