Armchair All-star Gifts

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Putting Practice.

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Goal!"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

"Just the slippers is fine!"

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

Inactive wear store.

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

Easy chair exercise machines