Archaeology Nerd Gifts

Soon the hunter-gatherers would spread from sea to sea, while the scrounger-breakdancers would fade into oblivion.

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

A watch face with Stonehenge

Stonehenge Explained

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"I think it was an election year."

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Pyramid catflap...

I'm With Stooped

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

Archaeologists discover a football

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

'I can hardly wait for someone to invent paper.'

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

Mummy Shrink.

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

This will really mess with their minds someday.

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

Stone henge swing.

They came...they saw...they conga'd.