Archaeology Buff Gifts

My other wheel is round.

"Y a un truc bizarre."

We believe they were a socially awkward tribe.

'I roll it ahead of me, and anything it hits goes into my famous Road Kill Stew.'

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

Tourists

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

The Fall of Gnome

A watch face with Stonehenge

Stonehenge Explained

"I think it was an election year."

"When I said make it RIGHT, I meant correctly."

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Maybe the gods aren't angry. Maybe the gods are just yanking our chain.

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

'You know, until we learned to walk upright, I never realized how short you are.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.