Archaeology Buffs Gifts

Keister Island

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

A watch face with Stonehenge

Stonehenge Explained

"I think it was an election year."

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Pyramid catflap...

'Who's the new guy?'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

I'm With Stooped

Archaeologists discover a football

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

Mummy Shrink.

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

This will really mess with their minds someday.

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."