Archaeology Buffs Pillows

Keister Island

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Stonehenge Explained

A watch face with Stonehenge

"I think it was an election year."

'Who's the new guy?'

Pyramid catflap...

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

Archaeologists discover a football

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

Mummy Shrink.

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

Stone henge swing.