Archaeology Fan Gifts

'Every 5,126 years it's the same old thing...get out the chisels and hammer out a new calendar.'

'You're the first of our kind and we're the last of our kind. Care to join us for a farewell drink?'

"And make it look as if he's been run over by a glacier."

There are so many commercials for wheels this time of year.

Caged Tourist Attraction

'Hold everything, the Pharaoh's opted for cremation!'

Egyptian Dog House.

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Despite not being the sharpest chisel in the cave, Oogah still managed to ace his hunting and gathering test.

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"I think it was an election year."

"Darn autocorrect!"

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

Pyramid catflap...

Hey, dad, do you think we could play something besides "catch"?

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

Archaeologists discover a football

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

I'm With Stooped

Used wheels

Oedipus

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

Cave Paintings Audio Guide