Archaeology Fan Gifts

'You're the first of our kind and we're the last of our kind. Care to join us for a farewell drink?'

"And make it look as if he's been run over by a glacier."

Caged Tourist Attraction

'Hold everything, the Pharaoh's opted for cremation!'

Egyptian Dog House.

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Despite not being the sharpest chisel in the cave, Oogah still managed to ace his hunting and gathering test.

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"I think it was an election year."

"Darn autocorrect!"

Pyramid catflap...

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"All right, let's clam up, everybody. Here comes another expedition."

Used wheels

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

Oedipus

Archaeologists discover a football

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

"Poor dear, she's just discovered all these years she's been the muse for a plagiarist."

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

Mummy Shrink.

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'