Archeology Admirer Gifts

"I don't think you've ever met my little Venus."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Trojan Hurdler.

"I think it was an election year."

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

Pyramid catflap...

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

Archaeologists discover a football

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

Souvenirs.

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

How they did it . . .

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

'We started the extension then the property market collapsed.'

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

"Cheer up, grod, these are the good old days."

Mummy Shrink.

'What do you mean we can't finish on time? Do you want history to say that Rome wasn't built in a day?'

Stone henge swing.