Aquatic Therapist Gifts

"I can clearly see from the colour of your rings that your have some anger issues...!"

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Ecological Therapy

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"Cat got your tongue?"

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

'Now tell me about your puppyhood.'

The Hudson River School of Art.

"It seems to me you may be experiencing some form of low-level depression."

The Threat to the Environment

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

The synchronized shower event.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

'Where's your goldfish?'

The ocean is no place for a star.

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'Say, this is interesting.'

'Well, at least the landlord can't complain about a flat fish!'

I hate jacuzzi day.

"I'm afraid you can't divorce your cat just because you say she doesn't meet your emotional needs."

'Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken...'

"The vet said his depression is due to directing hostile ambivalent feelings of loss toward the self...but that's the Freudian view."

"My wife thinks I'm out looking for a job..."

'Come back, you fools! That's just a myth! We lemmings don't really do that!'

'I thought you were getting alternative therapy today...'

Diver leaps from water like a dolphin to retrieve a fish.

'Hey! Not fair!'