Aquatic Advisor Gifts

"His therapist told him to get out more."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'So what have you been up to?'

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

The Transition Oz team on their way to Totnes to get advice on Reskilling, Transport, Oil Dependancy and overcoming Post Petroleum Stress Disorder.

Well, those election results certainly surprised me. Me too, little buddy. But that's because when I went to sleep last night, I had a dream … that Robert F. Kennedy had lived, he appointed Carl Sagan as science advisor and head of NASA, Sagan took us to Mars in 1991, and Donald Trump spent the rest of his days founding casinos and selling real estate degrees on the red planet. Meanwhile, in the 2016 election, Martin Luther King Jr. narrowly defeated Sonny Bono. I just meant I'd forgotten we wer

"He never takes me anywhere."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

"Cat got your tongue?"

Fish Farm.

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

Fish Food

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

The Threat to the Environment

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"He put up a decent fight."

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

School of Fish

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

'Don't fight it, Fred - Just go with the flow.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

Spawning did nothing for Maurice and Kevin.

"How goes the farm-raised salmon?"

"I can clearly see from the colour of your rings that your have some anger issues...!"

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'Well, I don't care how you did it at home, Walters, this is not how we handle this sorta thing at seaworld...'

Rescuing the Fish in the Flood

"It's true that the basement's flooded, but it's stocked."