Aquarium Advisor Gifts

The message was clear: Pay up or die. Or maybe it was: Change the water.

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"We’re a lending aquarium."

Pets.

A Preschool of Fish

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I think it loves us."

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

'I wish I was creative'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Lap fish..."

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'So what have you been up to?'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

A house cat fishes in a goldfish bowl

Fish tank filled with sardines.

Welcome to Landworld.

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

Drinking Companions

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'