Aquatic Caretaker Gifts

'Why is there so much chlorine in this water?'

I hate jacuzzi day.

"Leave the shaker."

'Mouthwash!...you spoil that piranha.'

'Have you noticed that Harry has a twitch and is as mad as a haddock? Do you suppose it's mercury poisoning?'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'Where's your goldfish?'

"I'm sorry that anti-diarrhea medication didn't work. . ."

"I heard Dad say we were having fish for dinner, so I thought I'd come in and check on you guys."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Foster failure"

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'They sure have small litters.'

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

Man transplants plant in his garden.

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Dog Food

Child walking with balloon which represents global warming.

'Where did the little bird go?'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

Whale-to-whale resuscitation

"Upper right seven buccal filling.. Upper left.. "

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

"Wow, look at him go! He's done 900 press-ups easy!"

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

"Careful, Len. You'll spook the herd."

"Yes, it is a beautiful day but what makes you think you can go outside and play?"

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

Horse Clean-up