Goldfish Caretaker Gifts

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'How's your goldfish?'

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'So what have you been up to?'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"This place could use a moat!"

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

"He never takes me anywhere."

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

Fishbowl Rebellion

Snub Marine

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

'Well, I think it's dreadful coming home and taking it out on poor Freddy like that.'

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

'I'm sorry. The CEO can't come to the phone right now. He's entertaining some prospective clients over lunch.'

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

A Classic Goldfish Game.

'Do you mind if I have a friend spend the night?'