Goldfish Keepers Gifts

"I got you a gift."

"Are you thinking outside the box?"

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'So what have you been up to?'

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

A house cat fishes in a goldfish bowl

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

"This place could use a moat!"

'Go on - they're organic!'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

Fishbowl Rebellion

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

"Don't talk to your dad - he hasn't had his morning coffee yet!"

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

'Well, I think it's dreadful coming home and taking it out on poor Freddy like that.'

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

'Where's your goldfish?'

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

'Do you mind if I have a friend spend the night?'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'