Goldfish Lovers Gifts

'Water is included with rent.'

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'Next!'

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'So what have you been up to?'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

"After 1000 miles of rapids, waterfalls,and grizzly bears I'm pooped. Let's just grab some supper and call it a night."

Astronaut fishbowl.

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

Piranhas' Mounted Trophies

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

"What's the name of our sea?"

How do fish get to work?

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

Mandatory mask use

'From what you describe, it looks like it's my dad who has the Maternal Instinct...'

Human Fingers: The Fish World's version of Fish Fingers.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Fitz wasn't sure if this was a legitimate rescue or just more culinary trickery.

"Wait a minute! It's not good to go swimming right after eating!"

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

I think it's time to clean the basement.