Goldfish Enthusiast Gifts

'Your specialist subject...things that have happened in the last three seconds.'

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

'Of course there's a Richard Dawkins! Who do you thin changes the water?'

'All right, I guess...how was your day?'

'Look at that spread. Some fish have it so good.'

'Good morning, Pal.'

'I've had a rough day. I wish I could go out for a drink!'

'I'm afraid all those goldfish you swallowed back in college have finally caught up with you.'

Snow Globe Goldfish Bowl

Fish: 'Been there, done that.'

'That's right, gang up on me!'

Colin Swims Backwards

"When I die I want a closed casket funeral. . . Correct."

"Looks like Grandpa filled the goldfish bowl with Mom's pinot grigio again."

"I don't care if it's his favorite show. I wanna watch football!"

Goldfish

"Okay, okay, you win. I don't know where you're hiding."

It's so comfy in here since we replaced the castle with a water softener.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

"Seriously, you looked so perfect that at first, I thought you were a lure..."

'I don't mind being caught,it's that kissing I hate.'

The Da Vinci Cod

'First he warms our bowl, now he's feeding us... And you thought he wasn't friendly.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"Lap fish..."

'Next!'

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'