Aquatic Trainer Gifts

"One of my strengths is that I like to work outside of my comfort zone."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'He's not supposed to go out.'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

Litter Tray Training

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

Chicken soup for the sole.

Cat Show

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

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"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."