Aquatic Trainer Gifts

"One of my strengths is that I like to work outside of my comfort zone."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Quick, start the car!"

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

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"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.