Aquarium Trainer Gifts

"In my view, management overrates the motivational appeal of mackerel."

"What a sad species humans are!"

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."

'Mike has had a lifelong dream of working at Sea World.'

Sea Lion and Dolphin Tricks

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'He's not supposed to go out.'

Litter Tray Training

Pets.

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

Cat Show

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Lap fish..."

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?