Appliance Shopping Gifts

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

Entertainment systems

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."