Purchase Of New Appliance Gifts

"While you were on your fishing holiday with your pals I bought a new dishwasher!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"Does it come with magnets?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"I bought this 'automatic bread maker', and so far it hasn't made any!"

The Guy Who Was Hooked Up To The Wrong Machines

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"To toast!"

"It comes with three programs! Single, married and kids!"

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

'I can't help but wonder if somewhere, someone isn't watching a TV with a larger screen.'

Motatsu didn't want the guys to know that his wife made the shrunken heads by using a really hot dryer.

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

Jim's Smart Kettle

Pumping up wig in blender.

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.