Appliance Upgrade Gifts

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'Well, I finally made the switch from cable to satellite.'

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

I can be upgraded, can you?

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

"We are not buying a refrigerator with a learning curve."

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

'Nice penthouse.'

"This home comes with all the latest technology. As part of the tech package, tech-support will live with you until you figure out how to use it all."

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

'I'm sorry Sherman, you're dumped. I could never go out with sombody who uses out of date tech.'