New Appliance Gifts

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

Come dine with me!

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

Cooking

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Cat on Board.

The Guy Who Was Hooked Up To The Wrong Machines

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"To toast!"

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"I bought this 'automatic bread maker', and so far it hasn't made any!"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"Does it come with magnets?"

"It comes with three programs! Single, married and kids!"

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."