Home Upgrader Gifts

"Our smart home just texted us. It said instead of binge watching shows, we should be updating it. It wants us to start with the kitchen."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

'Well, I finally made the switch from cable to satellite.'

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

"Can you de-schlump him?"

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

I can be upgraded, can you?

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

"And, in suburban news, construction of the new, attached four-season solarium at 6870 Evercrest Drive continued amid the silent, seething envy of the neighbors."

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'Nice penthouse.'

"This home comes with all the latest technology. As part of the tech package, tech-support will live with you until you figure out how to use it all."

'It's for the office computer. It's been replaced.'

"Okay, this summer I've been able to buy a speaker system and a full set of dash knobs. Only 4,387 more parts before I have my own customized ragtop."

'I'm sorry Sherman, you're dumped. I could never go out with sombody who uses out of date tech.'

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

'Don't Worry - They Never Think It'

"I think you need to update your mobile device."

"If you're going to use a TV as your computer monitor, I suggest investing in a new model."

'Let's just see how intuitive this software really is.'

"I wish I hadn't rushed out and bought this model, your new model is much better!"

STRIP Hambone: 'We've finally paid off the �23,000 on this one...'

'How do you do it? You don't look a day over 3G!'

Please Swipe Your Feet

A hermit crab moves home