Equipment Upgrader Gifts

'With this new graphite driver I'll hit the ball straighter and with these new super distance balls I'll hit it 30 yards further.'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

Resume Consultant. Listing professional development courses you've taken since your last job was fine, but don't put"New & Improved" above your name.

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!

I can be upgraded, can you?

'I think he wants a larger cage.'

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

'It's for the office computer. It's been replaced.'

It's the Fad Herald. I should've upgraded my phone. Hear ye. Today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Hope. Until further notice, that tingly, expectant feeling you're experiencing may be interpreted as optimism, mild euphoria, the illusion of better times ahead. Wow. Now that you mention it. Cool. Wait ... What do you man by illusion? Looking ahead to 2020 trends: Disappointment. Nah. We'll be fine, I'm sure.

'Granny buys wide-screen TV'

"Okay, this summer I've been able to buy a speaker system and a full set of dash knobs. Only 4,387 more parts before I have my own customized ragtop."

'I'm sorry Sherman, you're dumped. I could never go out with sombody who uses out of date tech.'

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

"If you're going to use a TV as your computer monitor, I suggest investing in a new model."

"I wish I hadn't rushed out and bought this model, your new model is much better!"

'Let's just see how intuitive this software really is.'

"I thought I'd go digital this year."

"Our smart home just texted us. It said instead of binge watching shows, we should be updating it. It wants us to start with the kitchen."

STRIP Hambone: expensive new computer model

STRIP Hambone: 'We've finally paid off the �23,000 on this one...'

'How do you do it? You don't look a day over 3G!'

'Someday, son, you will have to make the hard decisions, buy new or upgrade.'

Are you saying I have no control over when I upgrade my devices? In effect. You've got some kind of subconscious internal clock that drives you to regularly buy a new phone, or TV, or video game console. And there's nothing I can do about it? So it would seem. How freeing. Does this revelation come with a new credit line? Go away.

"Why didn't they do all these updates at the computer factory?"