New Purchase Gifts

Man with a new purchase about to fall down a hole.

'Jim finally got a fast bike. Now all he has to do is get used to it.'

New mobile phone.

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

"This is what I was dreading - her new phone has become a conversation piece."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

Family members!

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

All the apps hidden within a phone

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

'By god that man stinks!'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

Latest Aye Phone

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

Traffic calming ahead.

Car with a rams head sticking out the front

"This must be for charging bigger vehicles."