Home Purchase Gifts

Posh Doghouse.

Suburban families on lawn.

'At last I have maximised my concrete option.'

'Beats the heck out of using the prime rate.'

'And this is the downstairs half-bath.'

"When you said you were rich, I never dreamed you were this rich!"

"Welcome to the open house. If you happen to battle any other couples to the death, we just ask that you don't do it on the new carpets."

"What do you mean our ground lease is up?"

Gay couple living together.

Man leaves prison and misses the bars so he buys bar wallpaper.

'I thought I heard you rattling around.'

'I guess you could say he's my pet - he came with the house.'

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Your Future Home.