Home Purchasing Gifts

"I looked it up online. It's actually quite roomy."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

Reverse Mortgage.

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"Their titles from left to right are, 'Holiday in Palm Springs','Next mortgage payment' and 'Deposit on a new Porsche'