Anxiety Baker Gifts

"What do you eat for anxiety?"

"Please don't kill me."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Worries of the first single cell organism. Should I divide? Maybe I won't like my other self! Maybe it won't like me! Two might be nice company. Three, though, that could be crowded.

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Neurotics in the tropics

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

"O.K., class, next we'll pound out the dough until that ungrateful, self-centered son of a bitch realizes he's not the center of the world, and maybe, just maybe, he doesn't deserve an attractive, well-educated woman with a wonderful sense of humor."

"You're too kneady."

"Come on, Doc, one of us has to relax,"

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"I'm sorry, I always fall to pieces at interviews."

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

'I'm worried that my crippling anxiety is going to shorten my life.'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

'Has the news finished yet?'

"A mouse! A mouse!"

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

'I can never do anything with my hair phobia.'

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

My Progress Towards Achieving My Goals

M.D. Of course I keep myself all wound up … Everyone else is busy running me down.

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

'Hey, it's all right - we're ALL afraid of vacuum cleaners.'

"It's just another birthday. . ."

'Did I get this right? You fear that there's a hedge fund manager in your cupboard ready to take over your company at the first opportunity?'

"Do you feel we are making progress in overcoming your fears?"

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"