Anti-social Strategist Gifts

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Under new blame.

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Coronavirus Windmills

"Now remember, if I jump out the window, I want to leave."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

'It's true. There was a coup.'

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

BP Waiter: Dinner is served!

'Remember, son, when the going gets tough, bail out!'

Fermeture des restaurants: la résistance s'organise

"This is where the money will be spent. Oh, sorry. That's a picture of a black hole."

Suggestions Box

Coronavirus dancing around an EU flag

'We buy and sell them.'

'Finally, here's your chance to do something extraordinarily good for our company - quit and start working for the competitor!'